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Saturday, December 03, 2005

LESS THAN ZERO 

Great God Almighty it's cold.

I haven't been in the Midwest for a winter in over 15 years and my California conditioned blood is thinner than Kate Moss. The temperature has decided not to do any heavy lifting and has remained below freezing for days. All of this might be tolerable if it wasn't for the 15 -20 mile an hour winds that keep reminding me I moved from here for a very good reason - you could die in this climate just by standing around and minding your own business.

Yesterday, even my body heat failed to do its duty against the elements. Wrapped in a winter coat (oh, just great, winter doesn't officially start until Dec 20?) and lined gloves, I expected to warm up sufficiently by trapping my 98.6 degrees between layers. I didn't stand a chance.

Ten minutes into a cigar and the December Atlantic, I surrendered and returned to the interior of a coffee shop to dunk my frozen fingers into the first warm cup I could find. Which by the way, does wonders for the inert digits but isn't going to make you particularly popular.

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