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Friday, September 30, 2005

MAKE MINE A DOUBLE DARWIN AWARD!! 

The difference between stupidity and ignorance is reasonably simple to explain, yet I consistently hear the two terms used as synonyms. In the interest of confusing myself and others, I will try to shed some light on this latest national crisis of verbal imprecision.

Stupidity is something people are born with, period. No matter how hard they might try, there is no overcoming the hardwiring that solders a double digit IQ into an individual. Its over before it ever begins and it's not going to get better. As soon as that little head escapes the womb and draws its first breath, a lifetime of 'duhs' and 'huhs' leaving people scratching their heads at the mere survival of this bubble brained life form is set in motion. I'm happy to report that God did put these people here for a reason: to run airport security and to imbue the balance of the human race with a false sense of superiority.

Ignorance, on the other hand, is a characteristic cultivated by commission or omission and hope does exist for those in its grip. The prevailing forms of ignorance appear to stem from several sources: a) lack of education, b) lack of curiosity, or c) a lifetime of circumstance so favorable that one is never forced to face the fact they don't know jack (or Jill for that matter). In general, the latter is the more dangerous of the three because the subject usually arrives at the erroneous conclusion his good fortune is the direct result of his great talent, acumen, understanding, Divine intervention - or some combination of these.

Let's use some examples to illustrate this difference, shall we? First, the dopey and pardon me a moment while I unload my SBK 585 Over and Under into this exceptionally large barrel of fish. (Actors, models, rock stars and professional athletes are exempt from this particular exercise, the result of a recent piece of legislation enacted by California making it a misdemeanor to write about celebrities and their lack of gray matter. Known as Demi' and Ashton's Law, the statute is designed to spare readers from being continually reminded that intelligence and zillion figure incomes have absolutely nothing in common).

First up, a 41 year old male hailing from the great state of Michigan who was as thick as the ice was thin.

Not only was this guy warned of impending peril by the Coast Guard (making ignorance a non-factor), he had first hand experience of the danger at hand and still decided to repeat an act that had almost killed him 24 hours earlier. This is stupidity in its purest form and I'm guessing based on the aforementioned pattern of behavior that if he had lived, he would have voted for Bush a second time.

Oh, and what a great segue!!!

Often described as stupid by the raging left, I suggest the 43 president of our republic is unfairly and inaccurately characterized as dumb when it's ignorance that's to blame. If he were truly stupid, he never would have been allowed to screw up this badly. Unfortunatley , George II is consumed by the third type of callowness described above, making him far more dangerous than if he were, say, a box of rocks on the level of (insert celebrity here).

Rescued by his father or father's cronies from every failure or prospective failure in life -'Gentleman's C' student, legacy admission at Yale; National Guard Duty (sort of) instead of Vietnam; his Harkin Energy stock salvaged at just the right time leading to his ridicuously lucrative investment in the Texas Rangers; Billy Graham takes him for a walk on the beach and suddenly he is delivered of an addiction to alcohol- George II inhabits the narrowest of worlds, where education is just another networking opportunity, curiosity is something that kills cats and God has floated his boat all the way to the White House. Resolving ignorance requires the acknowldgement that something is amiss and that usually follows from failure. But if you're prevented from failing..... oh, hell, you get the picture.

Dead guy from Michigan: Stupid but out of the gene pool.

Deadly guy from Texas: Ignorant and with fecund spawn.

Bliss reigns.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

ONE'S IN THE GRIN BIN, WHY NOT THE OTHERS? 

You decide, which one of these guys is more delusional?

First up, Mike Brown, former Director of FEMA, Arabian horse aficianado, well heeled crony and member of the Pirates of Potomac Plundering, Blundering and Profiteering Society or....

John Hinckley, erstwhile failed assassin of Ronald Reagan, devotee of Jodi Foster and apparently a man completely unclear on the concept of lesbianism.

Or this circus monkey, whose syntax, babble and airheaded pronouncements seem to be getting worse. Could Jim Beam be the reason?

While New Orleans was in an electrical blackout, POTUS might well have been in an alcohol induced blackout.

Do you think any of the Docs at St Elizabeth whisper in Hinckley's ear, "Bush has a real thing for Jodi"?


First Gillgan, now Maxwell Smart.
How did we arrive at the point that Agent 86 would turn out to be more urbane, articulate and competent than the President of the US?

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