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Friday, September 16, 2005

GETTING THERE, DOWN UNDER 

The Australian government has unveiled it latest public service campaign to advance awareness for Aussies With Walkabout Challenged Range And Perambulation ( AWWCRAP).

In a PSA spot aimed at children, the televised announcements introduced a new cartoon spokesperson, Clyde the Kangeroo, a one legged marsupial who lost his limb to a drunken driver; an illegal Mexican immigrant without car insurance, who was attempting to escape Australian naturalization authorities while delivering sod and dry cleaning to a gated community in Melbourne.

Clyde, motoring about in a state of the art wheel chair, encounters several vexing and frustrating situations where AWWCRAP standards for access are yet to be implemented including a health club, public tennis courts and a hiking trail. Clyde expresses his disappointed at each, a small tear crawling slowly down his cheek at each displeasure and a dream montage of his carefree days as a fully functioning bipod.

Next, Clyde strikes paydirt at AWWCRAP compliant facilitites. We see shots of him wheeling his way into McDonalds, KFC and Burger King and exiting with a jaunty thumbs up to the camera. Clyde is blissfully happy and cheerfully extolls the virtues of establishments which are sensitive to the needs of citizens like himself.

Ending the spot, Clyde reminds everyone he is only "Hopless, Not Hopeless!!!" and that everyone should do their part to make Australia access friendly, mate.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

PIRATES OF THE POTOMAC 

I hate to say I told you so... but I did. The Post Katrina-Bush Buddy kelptomania has set sail in full force with, (use Gomer Pyle voice here) surprise, surprise , surprise, Halliburton and Bechtel first in line with nets wide open to catch the cash. Joining in on the feeding frenzy is the previous head of FEMA, Joe Allbaugh. The Bush boot licker who hired his competance challenged college roomate, Mark Brown into the agency, has his treasure trawlers out on the waters netting big bucks.

Instead of the Jolly Rodger, this group flies the Jolly Fucker, a picture of Dick Cheney with his middle finger in full sail.

Kind of makes you pine for the days when political criminals made a concerted effort to hide their nefarious dealings. At the very least, Nixon and Reagan knew (OK, Reagan is debatable) that Watergate and Iran Contra were games of dirty pool and had enough of a conscience to try to hide their activities.

These guys just cram their criminality down your throat after soaking it for a time in the sweetwater of legitimacy. WMDS and Iraqi Nuclear Programs were the 'reasons' to start a war and profitable reconstruction effort for the benefit of big Republican donors like Halliburton and Bechtel. Then it was tax cuts for the wealthy contiunually dipped in the "it's your money" mantra. Bush Buds got millions, you got $500 and soldiers in Iraq didn't get armor.

And now its Katrina: a tragedy that may have been prevented if the Federal (yes, yes state and local gets a bitch slap on this as well) government had done the work necessary to shore up the levees, NOT handed over water repellant wet lands to developers and had in place a qualified FEMA Director who was slightly less brain dead than Terri Schaivo.

By the way, the 'qualifications' of FEMA's New England Director should induce some nightsweats in the Northeast.

The Pirates of the Potomac are now spinning their gross negligence as anyone's fault but their own: Local government, state government, poor black people, poor white people, people who breathe, people who eat, people who have the audacity to want to live in New Orleans, liberal media, Sponge Bob Sqaure Pants, Saddam Hussein, the French.

But Allah forbid you point the finger at them, you unpatriotic, blamemonger.

When Bush said he was going to restore accountability to the White House, he slurred three words. It's the 'a count ability' he was talking about, ya' know? The ability to make a good count of all that cash coming in.

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