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Friday, August 26, 2005

A WORD FOR MOST REASONS 

Codswallop

Now that's a word that delivers a bigger bang per syllable than most. Say it a few times and you'd swear your tongue had labored through more than just three.

Codswallop, codswallop, codswallop.


The Brits have been employing it for years and to excellent effect. The time seems right to give it full play here in the colonies.

Codswallop

It has a universal quality that fits our universally screwy world; a one-size fits all word to describe the ceaseless flow of professionally manufactured manure the country's self serving, self preserving institutions shovel out on an hourly basis or the unfathomable antics of members of your immediate family.

To wit:


Hollywood press release: Codswallop before the movie hits the theatres. (Katie and Tom, Tom and Katie, Tatie and Kom, Kom and Tatie- it's all twuuuu, it's twuuuu.

WHITE HOUSE PRESS RELEASE: Codswallop just before the bombs drop and the cruise (no, not him) missiles hit.

WALL STREET QUARTERLY EARNING REPORT: Codswallop attached to the CEO's bonus check.

LOCAL TV NEWS: !!CODSWALLOP!! at 10:00 (Experience You Trust!!)

FOX NEWS: "Fair and Balanced Codswallop"

CONGRESSIONAL ETHICS COMMITTEE: Codswallop (Redundant?)

STEROIDS IN PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL: Codswallop with a 5 year, $50 million guaranteed contract. $50 million - Yow. Stick that needle in both cheeks!!

It's free, its clean and most people will have no freakin' idea what t means so try it today on someone you love, or not.

Monday, August 22, 2005

GUD ENUFF 

President Busch sed a speech today in Utaw. He sed that the war in Eyerak was what wuz keepin the terruristz from attakin us here at home.

I kno he is rite, becuz he is the president and presidents that beleive in Jesus kant lie. Also, I has stok in military companees who make bombs to kill our enemies and my divadind checks is lookin good. And another thing, as long as his famlee makes the beer I like, I'm supportin him when I 'head for the mountens".

President Busch is a reel smart guy and so is Dick Chainy. That is why they are are leaders. They kno what is rite and critisisin um is un americun. I wish thoze traiders who keep sayun bad things about the President wood stop. If the president wants to say we are fightin in Eyerak becuze it keeps gas prices down, then I agree.

It don't bothur me that he keeps changin the reazons why we are in Eyerak cauze one of them has to be rite.

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