Saturday, July 23, 2005


Turdblossom still has his job despite having helped shut down a CIA covert operation monitoring the proliferation of the very same sort of weapons of mass destruction we went to war over in Iraq. Apparently, the administration has given the OK to have nukes and bio-agents bought and sold on the International Terrorist's Stockade Exchange, especially if you're a Pakistani or Saudi. But woe unto you if you're an old enemy of the Bush family and a convenient excuse for some super duper war profiteering; don't think you can avoid being a scapegoat just because you scotched your nuke program. " No problema--we'll just make one up for you!!!

History tells us that we can soon expect Karl to be awarded a National Medal of Freedom, or as it's become known in the Bush White House, the "You Fucked Up But it Worked in Our Favor" award for the truly incompetant, but exceedingly loyal lickers of the Bush Boots. As we all remember, the last time George II bestowed this honor it went to George "Slam Dunk" Tenet, and Paul "Plan, What Plan?" Bremer.

In this administraion, failure is just another word for patriot.

In London, radical Muslim Cleric and gum flapping welfare daddy, Sheikh Omar Bakri Mohammed, continues to take advantage of democracy and free speech by calling for their abolishment and praying vigorously for good old Sharia, or as it's affectionately known in Afghanistan, "Talibanic Torture". Bakri, voted last fall by British citizens as reason #1o bring back the crossbow, the Iron Maiden and boiling in oil, has blamed everyone but his little 'ol vitriolic self for the 7/7 bombings. Brit bookmakers have the odds at 3 to 5 that in the event of another bombing, a London real estate agent, intent on keeping flat prices climbing, will hire a rogue gang of property solicitors to kidnap Bakri and force him to hand stuff bangers at a Yorkshire abattoir.

The Democratic National Committee announced today it will soon unveil a strategy aimed at exploiting the President's failure to account for Karl Rove's CIA shennigans, soon, reallly, just around the corner, anytime now.

But don't expect anything meaningful or substantive before the Dems field test it for potential offensiveness to, people of hue, gays/lesbians/transgender/transsexual/trans ams, goldfish, parakeets, houseplants and Eskimo octogenrians in irreversible comas.

A spokesperson for the DNC said it was important to "take a stand about Rove's behavior without actually taking a stand that might make someone stand-offish about standing with us come the 2006 Congressional elections".

...and Jesus wept.

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